Morning Funnies 5 March, 20154 March, 2015 Liberal LibrarianLeave a comment https://twitter.com/Crunk_Jews/status/572871518427848704 It's hard to pay attention to a friend who is on the phone & is very emotional about a breakup when there's a pizza commercial on— 🐈Mattzilla™️🐈 (@mattZillaaaa) March 4, 2015 https://twitter.com/DaddyJew/status/573329200645611520 https://twitter.com/CooIStepDad/status/553956003352297472 [rubs magic lamp, genie appears]"U get only one wish."I wish for the girl of my dreams.[5 headed crab-shark woman appears]Nice nice.— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) March 5, 2015 Has anyone checked whether cows really have 4 stomachs? Because it kinda sounds like a lie a cow made up once to get more food— Pete Lynch (@PJTLynch) June 26, 2014 Continue reading “Morning Funnies” →
Morning funnies 4 March, 20153 March, 2015 Liberal LibrarianLeave a comment Getting into a girl's pants is easy. Finding a top that matches and a great pair of shoes to complete your look is the real challenge— Donnie (@donnie_fairburn) December 8, 2014 https://twitter.com/TySmithdrums/status/572165408800681985 *** [Whispers into her ear at the club]Wanna step outside and play?"Ooh baby, YES"*Draws hopscotch outline*— the rolo ツ (@TheRolo) March 4, 2015 The Alabama Supreme Court has blocked same-sex marriage on the legal grounds that it is 1953.— God (Not a Parody, Actually God) (@TheTweetOfGod) March 4, 2015 Continue reading “Morning funnies” →
Morning funnies 3 March, 20152 March, 2015 Liberal Librarian2 Comments https://twitter.com/PJTLynch/status/481252979043864576 Sometimes I text "wanna bang?" to random numbers just to liven up someone else's day.— Crazy Stalker Mom (@texasstalkermom) February 4, 2015 *** [at restaurant]"HE'S CHOKING! SOMEONE HELP!"Me: Lay him down. *drops The People's Elbow**place goes fucking nuts*— Rock (@TheMichaelRock) March 3, 2015 https://twitter.com/SteveSuckington/status/572574784988450819 Continue reading “Morning funnies” →
Morning funnies 2 March, 20151 March, 2015 Liberal Librarian3 Comments It’s Monday. You may as well laugh. *** [interviewing to be fireman]Here is my resume. "Sir, this is your mixtape." WHOA THOSE JAMS ARE ON FIRE*sprays extinguisher everywhere* — Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) January 2, 2015 Doctor: "Just lie back and relax, I'll start the lasik eye procedure in a moment." *Turns on laser* *Patient's face is attacked by cats* — Qwerty Jones (@QwertyJones3) February 5, 2015 When life gives you lemons, you should peel one in front of the other lemons. You know… to send a message. — SJ (@SuperJuanderer) September 8, 2014 Pizza Friday at the office is always a great bonding experie- NO HELEN YOU MADE US GET A VEGGIE PIZZA PUT THAT FUCKING PEPPERONI SLICE DOWN — Melvin of York (@MelvinofYork) February 28, 2015 Continue reading “Morning funnies” →