More stuff is in the works for the blog. (Lotsa ideas for essays, compadres.) But first, enjoy this fuck-bomb laced tirade at what is going to be the major cash cow of the summer, Pixels. Proving that I should probably call Netflix and have them quarantine any of my monthly dues from going to their deal with Adam Sandler. Enjoy!
It’s been my contention that grad school prepares you for NOTHING you encounter as a public librarian. Academic librarian, sure. Archivist, without a doubt. But none of the “working in a public library” classes which I took could have steeled me for what I’ve experienced. (And, I wasn’t even planning to work in a public library. I had every intention of selling out and working in private industry. Sadly, Lehman Bros. decided to blow up the economy right as I graduated, so the kibosh was put on that grand plan.)
Most of my patrons are lovely, well-balanced people. Some are raving fruitcakes. And then some seem well-balanced and lovely, and then they do something which leaves you in slack-jawed stupefaction. In the first of a series I’ve helpfully entitled Annals in “WTH Were You Thinking??”, I present “Potty training.”
Continue reading “Annals in “WTH Were You Thinking??” – Potty Training”
Because, really, if you can’t laugh by Thursday, you must have a depressing job. Good morning!
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If I ever sound drunk it's only because I am.
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Crunk Jews (@Crunk_Jews) March 03, 2015It's hard to pay attention to a friend who is on the phone & is very emotional about a breakup when there's a pizza commercial on
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MattZilla (@mattZillaaaa) March 04, 2015You don't have to like me but you will respect me...ehh who am I kidding please like me!!
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(@DaddyJew) March 05, 2015"Son it's time we had the talk"
"Cmon dad I know about se.."
"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams"
"What?"
"It was an inside job"
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀DADNEXTDOOR (@CooIStepDad) January 10, 2015[rubs magic lamp, genie appears]
"U get only one wish."
I wish for the girl of my dreams.
[5 headed crab-shark woman appears]
Nice nice.
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Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) March 05, 2015Has anyone checked whether cows really have 4 stomachs? Because it kinda sounds like a lie a cow made up once to get more food
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Pete Lynch (@PJTLynch) June 26, 2014Getting into a girl's pants is easy. Finding a top that matches and a great pair of shoes to complete your look is the real challenge
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Donnie (@Donnie_Fairburn) December 08, 2014Why are pants mean to shirts?
Because they're sons of britches.
*curtsies*
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Smoochie (@TySmithdrums) March 01, 2015***
[Whispers into her ear at the club]
Wanna step outside and play?
"Ooh baby, YES"
*Draws hopscotch outline*
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The Rolo ツ (@TheRolo) March 04, 2015The Alabama Supreme Court has blocked same-sex marriage on the legal grounds that it is 1953.
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God (@TheTweetOfGod) March 04, 2015My favorite part in Pretty Woman is her joy when he agrees to pay $3,000 for 6 days, effectively lowering her rate from $100/hr to $21/hr
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Pete Lynch (@PJTLynch) June 24, 2014Sometimes I text "wanna bang?" to random numbers just to liven up someone else's day.
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Crazy Stalker Mom (@texasstalkermom) February 04, 2015***
[at restaurant]
"HE'S CHOKING! SOMEONE HELP!"
Me: Lay him down. *drops The People's Elbow*
*place goes fucking nuts*
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Rock (@TheMichaelRock) March 03, 2015How come when a chick has phone sex its like "ooh thats hot"
But when I do it, its a "felony" and I get a "lifetime ban from the AT&T store"
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Steve Suckington (@SteveSuckington) March 03, 2015It’s Thursday. The week is almost over. Time to impose on you my obsession with the Pythons. Enjoy!
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Argument Clinic
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Confuse-a-Cat
A Writing Corner 